About ‘Mood Hoovers’ - Here’s Why Downbeat Pals Can Benefit You Personally
Myself am hungry for wisdom from others on dealing with middle-aged struggles, such as philosophical reflections, waning significance, noticing one’s neck like a Salvador Dalí clock plus a fresh interest regarding sunny relocation programs. Lately, I read his remarks regarding his fiftieth birthday via a discussion: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”
My first thought was: doesn’t this conflict between “avoiding negative people” and “getting better at saying no”? Doesn’t that mean he has to avoid himself? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). I’ll accept “downbeat cashmere throw”, at a pinch.
Maybe you belong to this group as well. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Can you relate deeply to pessimistic characters; has an intuitive ever described your energy as dull?
Should this ring true, welcome to the club, and it’s fine. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.
